Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I don't want to die yet, brother!

... is the title of the fiction story I have started to write. And this is a summary:

That was it? She had never thought her life would end like this. If it had to be a dramatic end, she would have imagined it to be a long illness. Tragic and sad. Or maybe to meet with an accident by car. Not a plane crash though. But not like that. Not like that at all! She felt despair, anger and horror. The horrific fear that millions of other people probably had when leaving their houses nowadays, caused by the thought of losing one’s life in a terror attack. It could happen to anyone. But it was happening to her, of all people, and of course the people with her on this train. Why on earth? After all what she had sacrificed for God, she Fatima, was to be killed by one of her brothers in faith. What irony!

Fatima had chosen her own Islamic name when she converted to Islam more than 15 years ago. It had been her independent and free decision. She liked that the very name of this religion, Islam, was derived from the word '"salam", peace. And she had been told that from that day on all Muslims were her brothers and sisters. It had been a day of new hope and confidence for Fatima, long before the dark shadows of 9/11.

Now she was sitting on the train to London. Fatima was on her way to work like almost every day and she had noticed the young Muslim brother sitting opposite her. She couldn't say what exactly had drawn her attention to him, but it only took a few moments till she had realized that he would blow himself up any minute and kill the many people travelling with him. Fatima’s thoughts were speeding frantically while her body was paralyzed with shock. No, oh no, for God’s sake, she didn't want to be martyred by this “brother”. This idea seemed to be worse than her fear. Fatima thought of her child and her husband. Was there nothing, absolutely nothing she could do?

She didn't dare to move, but from what she was able to tell there were no other Muslims except this young man and herself, wearing the obvious headscarf. It meant that, if of all people possible, she would be the only one having something in common with this man who was about to become a suicide terrorist. Whether Fatima liked it or not, she shared something very important in her life with this man on his suicide mission, her belief in the religion of Islam and the total submission to the One God. Fatima knew that if her time to die had come, it would happen anyway. But something inside urged her to do something. Her thought was dangerous. No, mad! But she had to try or she and her fellow passengers would die very soon. So what was she waiting for?

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